I have a daughter who is almost two years old. She is supposed to be off formula when she turned one, but my mother in-law insists that she stays on formula. I had her go to my daughter’s check up with me, and the doctor told her that she no longer needs formula, that whole milk is just fine.
My mother in-law said that she fed her son formula in the Philippines until he was twelve years old, but it turns out that it wasn’t baby formula but powdered milk. I explained to her the difference, but it’s not sinking in. My husband is a veteran, and his mom handles his benefits. So she uses his money to buy formula (which is very expensive) instead of just getting powdered milk.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I kind of lied (not sure if this is true or not) and I told her that the formula has extra calories and my daughter will become obese if she drinks it every day. I got in depth and said she can get extra calories from eating regular food. My mother in-law got mad and said I shouldn’t be counting my daughter’s calories and I better not be starving her just so she can be thin. I just lost it. I guess because she’s foreign, she doesn’t understand English very well, I don’t know.
She also wants us to wash our daughter’s "tang tang" (genitals) in the bath each time I change her diaper instead of using wipes. She thinks she should still use a bottle.
She doesn’t live with us (THANK GOD) but visiting her is difficult. I am having a hard time weaning my daughter off the bottle (did I mention she’s a toddler?) and I almost had to get rid of my cats because she thinks they have diseases and will make my daughter sick. My husband says to just ignore her, but even still she is controlling our lives. She loves her granddaughter so much, but the way she does things is so different. The last time she visited us she searched the cabinets for the formula and got angry when we didn’t have any. There is no possible way to tell her to not visit unexpectedly, or let us do things our way. If the doctor can’t convince her, and her son can’t explain to her how we do things, what am I going to do? I dread talking to her.
Putting powdered milk in the formula can sounds like a very clever idea. I just might resort to that!
I breastfed for four or five months, but my mother in-law said that my daughter was crying (colic) because she wasn’t getting enough milk, so that’s when the formula was introduced. After giving her formula, I produced less milk and I eventually died up. Those days were the worst, I cried every day.
Simply telling her to F off and let me do what I want isn’t enough. I asked my husband to talk to her in their language, but I really don’t know what he’s telling her. For all I know he’s wimping out and is just as scared of his mother as I am.
I got rid of the bottles months ago, but she keeps buying more bottles, and even if I don’t use them at home, she uses them at her house.
The reason why she handles his money is because I can’t. He can easily get the money from me, and he just isn’t competent to handle it himself. I don’t want to argue with him over money. We did have problems before with her not paying the bills on time but that’s a different issue.