English Paper. Causes of Obesity?

Posted by beeman | Uncategorized | Sunday 12 July 2009 3:43 am

Im writing a paper on how fast food causes obesity. (Cause and Effect paper). Does this sentence make sence?
P.s im not ragging on overweight people, its just the assignment
Thank you.

Because fast food is making people obese and more people are having health problems, this is also affecting our society when insurance premiums are rising because of costs of health problem of people who are overweight.

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1 Comment »

  1. Comment by ouragon — July 12, 2009 @ 3:43 am

    Eating fast food is making more people obese and as a result more people are having health problems. This affects our society by increasing insurance premiums due to increasing health costs among the overweight.

    Your sentence has many grammatical problems.

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